Fellow Anarchists, I love you. I really do. But pull up a chair. We need to talk about the things you’re doing that really grind everyone’s gears. These habits need to go:
1. Being militant Since you found out your religion is bullshit, you started questioning everything. Even the state! You discovered that you were eating wrong, the tv is your enemy, public schools are brainwashing centers, and now you take everything to the utmost extreme. People who file income taxes are obedient slaves. People who are on food stamps? Thieves. (“Why don’t you just go to your neighbor’s house and take the money yourself?”)
2. Feeling better than everyone else. Statists are inferior people who you won’t even associate with anymore. Not only do some Anarchists think they’re far superior to the less-than-human scum of the earth statists, there are even sub-categories of Anarchists. Green Anarchists feel superior to Anarcho-Capitalists and vice versa. And they spend a lot of time proving it to each other. You even try to out-Anarchy your own kind. Which brings me to number three.
3.Being extremely confrontational. You don’t let anything slide. Everything is an opportunity to enlighten people about how they’re wrong. You pay no mind to how receptive a person is to your message. Like a runaway truck, you just come barreling at everyone within reach with the NAP and the Federal Reserve.
4.Being really angry When you “woke up,” you became a bit traumatized that you’ve been misled your whole life. This makes you angry. You use the freedom movement as an outlet for this anger. The anger is mostly directed at the state and statists. Unsuspecting aunts and uncles and random people on reddit are your targets.
5. Blaming the state for all the unhappiness in your life. They’re the reason you’re poor, unemployed, and are a thirty-year-old virgin.
6. Name calling When you’re in a debate on facebook (see number four). There are seventy-two comments between you and your counterpart. An hour of your life is gone. You suddenly realize he’s not going to see the error of his ways and see the light which you so graciously showed him. So you call him a lazy thief. And ignorant, too.
7. Being paranoid When you “woke up,” you became paranoid about what else you’ve been lied to about. The whole world is a lie! Everything could potentially be a lie and a conspiracy!
8. Obsessive Compulsive Anarchist Personality Disorder. This is a disorder I made up for people who are obsessed with Anarchy to the point where they’re like one of those peope who can’t stop washing their hands. You suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Anarchist Personality Disorder if:
People politely bow out of conversations with you at parties. “Why don’t they want to talk about the prison industrial complex?” you wonder. And then, “Must be their inferior mental capacity”, you decide.
You haven’t posted anything non-Anarchy related on facebook since you discovered Larken Rose. You obsessively share Anarchy memes (“This will wake them up!”), but no one sees your Anarchy memes because everyone has unsubscribed from your feed. Your profile picture is the guy from V for Vendetta. Your cover photo is the black and yellow flag.
The only word that ever comes out of your mouth (well, acronym) is “NAP.”
This article “Anarchists’ Eight Most Annoying Habits” is free and open source. You have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Brittany Forrester and emancipatedhuman.com.
